Better than snow

April showers bring May flowers…hopefully.

Old Coot

I’m at the point in my training were I start playing little games with myself, talking to myself and talking myself into thinking that all this working out is really good for me.

Last year I decided to name my inner voice. Last week was a little tough and I actually was wondering where the hell Helen had gone. She hadn’t shown up yet or been shouting out positive reinforcement. But, I am happy to announce, she showed up yesterday. She’s still nice, but I think she went to boot camp over the winter because she’s a bit tougher than I remember.

Two weeks ago, after a 15 mile run, my big toe joint hurt so bad I thought I was going to throw up for several days. I decided to take my sock off and actually look at it and realized over the cold hard winter, that my right toe now slants real nice like waaay to the right and has a bony protrusion that accompanies it. It’s been a bit of a bitch and a pain that made me feel like I am actually (dare I say it?) getting old. Because let’s face it, do you see a lot of 23 year olds walking around with bunions?

So, now that I have an inner voice talking to me and a foot that is screaming at me most of the time, I decided that it was time to name her…her the bunion. And I have named her Agnes.

I really think I hit the name on the head with Agnes, as far as a name goes, until today. Since I have been teaching swimming lessons and training, I have been in the pool a lot and have gotten to see and chat with a lot of the “regulars”. Well, there is this one ol’gal who is crotchety as the day is long, complains about EVERYTHING, says she won’t ever come back (but always does), says the temperature is always wrong, it’s too hard to get around with her walker, and on and on and on.

Today, the pool was busy. This ol’gal was there, she was complaining about there being no space for her. I asked her if she wanted to share a lane. She told me the last time she tried to share a lane with someone the girl clawed at her with her fingernails and left a mark. I told her I wouldn’t do that and she was more than welcome to share with me.

As I swam, I began to realize I had named my bunion the wrong name. My bunion needed to be named whatever this old coots name was, because she is how my bunion sounds. As I got out of the pool, her gear was sitting on the edge. I looked down and noticed that something was written on her flotation belt, and hopefully it was her name.

As she swam the almost drowning side stroke, I waited until she was at the other end of the pool so there would be absolutely no way she could see me rearrange her things. When I felt safe, I moved the towel off the belt. And what name did I see?

MARY.

Pssst…I’m still alive!

Thank you to everyone of you who emailed me wondering if I have fallen off the face of the earth. Thank goodness I haven’t and thank you so much for your concern.

It’s funny when life throws you a curve ball or two and catches you off guard. It’s funny because after the initial shock wears off, you can take stock if you choose.

Are you happy?

Should there be a significant change somewhere? If yes, what?

Do you surround yourself with people who love and support you?

Do you let those people know how much you love them?

I could go on and on.

Life is short. No one ever said it was going to be easy, right? And as my mom use to tell me, “what doesn’t kill you, will only make you stronger.”

How many of you have heard that one?

I love this

This You Tube clip put a needed smile on my face today.

Taking flight

I really enjoy the azalea plants in our front yard.  They are really resilient little flora.  I love the way they keep their leaves all year long and are so expressive.  When it is dry they wilt slightly, when it is nice and they are well watered they are plump and lovely, when it is biter cold outside they curl up as if to ward off the elements.

On one particularly cold morning I pointed the curled up leaves to PJ.  She said, “They look just like dragon flies.”

And at that moment I realized, yet again, how differently adults see the world.  I simply saw leaves in their varying shapes, PJ made it come to life.  I just love that about kids!

Laying still

During the past couple weeks the kids have been home there has been a lot of outside play time.  This play time has consisted of time trudging through the snow, time sledding, and time making and throwing large snow balls. 

Every so often I’ll catch one of them just laying there, arms out, legs out, face up, looking at the sky.  Just being still.  Laying perfectly still.

I remember those moments in childhood, those moments of stillness.  They were always fleeting but so vivid.  There was always something to see, the leaves in the trees that actually made noise if you were still enough to listen, the clouds that made pictures in the sky if you didn’t avert your eyes, the tiniest of snow flakes that would kiss your nose if you waited long enough.

And then, just as quick as they came, they were gone. And in my case, the stillness was usually destroyed by my brother pelting me in the head with a snow ball.

Shifting expectaions

This is the year, the year where all three of my children are in school.  In my mind I thought I would have the time to get everything done, do things for myself and maybe even just sit still if I was so moved.

But what I have found is that the two days a week that I have a whopping two hours to myself, I can’t live up to what I thought it would be.  The dream of getting it all done in one foul swoop without the interruption of needs has not become a reality.

It’s on days like today, when I am feeling off, crabby and slightly nasty because things on my list are not being checked off the way I want, it’s on days like today where the deepest of breaths is needed, it’s on days like today where a shift needs to occur.

Today, instead of cleaning the closets and getting uptight because KP is unfurling my magnificent piles of summer clothes to be stored for the winter.  Today we will play.  Today we will enjoy our free time.  Today we will find the beauty of the few leaves that are left on the trees and the sun in the sky.  And today together we will enjoy this glorious day.

And this is what we decided to do!

Tomorrow I can get the rest of it done.

Thoughts of a crazy woman

Why do I keep this pair of cords on my body that gives me a muffin top all the way around and red abrasions on the inside of my leg?

Why did the white head on my face show up again this afternoon after I had popped it out onto the mirror this morning?

Why does my youngest son recklessly destroy everything in his path?

Why do I think a “bun” is a good idea for a hair style?

Why does the day fly by yet the “to do list” drags on?

So many silly questions…so little alone time to contemplate them. 

Gotta go, KP is shampooing his carpet again with hand soap.

The gag reflex

Adam is home this week on vacation.  All three kids are home this week on break.  The mini van is on vacation at the Honda dealership getting its fuel injection pump replaced.

All that said, this week when we go anywhere as a family unit, we drive Adam’s two door Golf.  We are like a little circus spilling out whenever we get to our destination and the doors open.

As we were driving home from the donut shop KP asks if I can help him get the booger out of his mouth.  The what?  How did you get a booger in your mouth?  Booger…snot…green…wet…slimy…booger in mouth…I IMMEDIATLY start to gag. 

He starts to ask louder and louder for help and then starts to cry.  Adam looks back and sees the booger is lodged between his front teeth, dangling slime wedged in his teeth, I continue to gag.  Adam starts to laugh uncontrollably and won’t stop talking about wet boogers stuck in-between teeth as I sit there gagging next to him. 

The kids are screaming and laughing.  Adam has tears welling in his eyes as his face is turning red from laughing so hard.  I’m still gagging.

And then KP announces the booger is gone.  And just so you know, that didn’t make it better, it didn’t make me gag, it made me want to throw up in my mouth.

So many spiders

Is it the rain?

The time of year?

They are all over the place.