For those of you who don’t read the comments

Sometimes people don’t dig into the comments section.  This was so funny I just had to post it.  It’s from our friend Troy who just spent a few days in THE MAD HOUSE I call home.

I just finished listening to a VM Mary left me yesterday – After I got done with her To-Do list – drain pipes eaten away compliments of some acid-wielding crazy lady, a couple of leaky faucets, a storm door closer torn from the door by some crazy lady’s crazy kids (supposedly), etc. I had left her an e-mail and a few notes yesterday explaining what I accomplished and what her family can do in the future to spare her pipes from that acid she loves to buy and use (drain cleaner that is) and hopefully avoid having to turn another snake or two lose in the drain pipes in the oldest part of her house. I started with the little wimpy snake a few days ago and even though my right-hand man KP thought it was really cool, it didn’t solve the problem. So I returned with the long power snake that you connect to a drill – KP thought this one was even cooler and KP, Mary and the cat all decided they needed to see this one in action!

Troy, the sink, the cat and the snake

Anyway, their desire to observe caused a serious dilemma for yours truly. You see rotary snakes are often the only way to clean old drain pipes, but the decision to use them is not free of several risks that can create much more serious problems for homeowners. You see, rotary snakes will almost always go down the pipe, but they don’t always come out. And if they get stuck really good, the drain will never work again. Which means if the homeowner has any intention of using the the sink, toilet and tub that all drain into the pipe that is now plugged with the stuck rotary snake, the only way for them to do so is to hire a carpenter to cut away the floors and walls where the old pipes run so they can be removed and replaced with new ones…

So there I was, sitting with the acid-wielding blogger, her camera, her son, and their cat all focused on my every move. All I could think about was how this situation was tailor-made for a good-hearted guy with considerable handyman skills and the desire to help out a neighbor in need to get a really good lesson taught to him re: why it is so important for contractors to be licensed and to carry insurance…. I could also hear my father’s words of wisdom in my ear – “make sure to take things REALLY SLOW when using a rotary snake as you are really F#@ked if you get it stuck in the pipe and can’t get it out.”

So should I give Mary the “buyer beware” talk that every licensed plumber would give her before proceeding? Or should I try the rotary snake VERY SLOWLY and see what happens??? I have to admit, if KP wouldn’t have been looking at me like I was about to save someone’s life with that damn snake, I would have probably told Mary “On second thought I think you should call a plumber or someone else who has better insurance – make that any insurance – than I do to do this for you.”

But KP was giving me that “your the man Mr. Auth” look that one can never walk away from so I pushed the trigger on the drill and began pushing the snake into the pipe. The deeper it went the bigger KP’s smile got and the more pictures Mary flashed. Little did they know that pushing the snake in is the easy part. Once it busted through the clog, I wiggled it around and then started pulling it out. It actually came out covered with black, greasy sewer pipe grime and the spring on the end was filled with all the crud that does such a great job of clogging drains. I breathed a sigh of relief and told KP and Mary I thought it worked – with produced a “Let me see that stuff on that spring” from KP and another string of flashes from Mary’s camera. I cleaned the snake up, put it back in my truck, put the drain pipes under the sink back together and couldn’t wait to fill the sink up with water and then open the stopper. The water created one of those tornado-like whirlpools like the drains in brand-new homes with brand new plastic sewer pipes do and the water disappeared so fast that Mary exclaimed “that drain hasn’t worked that well in all the years we’ve lived here”. Which made me smile from ear to ear. And then KP said “we need to tell PJ to quit putting her blonde hair down that drain” – which was the icing on the cake.

Who needs insurance when one has great neighbors and customers like Mary and KP…

Looking down the drain

You know those moments where you just know you have gone one step too far?

Yeah, that was me yesterday.

With the furnace on the fritz and a clogged kid’s bathroom sink, that I had been trying for days to fix with no avail…I poured in the earth killing, skin eating, most caustic liquid solid over the counter to random woman who try to fix their own problems could possibly purchase, down the sink.

And ohhhhhh did it fix it, it ate right through the pipe.

Thanks to our friend Troy, who has now rebuild the 20 some-year-old plumbing in that bathroom and has now come to find the clog to be in the WALL behind all the tile, I got to see what it looks like looking through a sink drain.

I knew there was a reason this was happening.

New perspective.

I hope I don’t get to see through the wall next.

The Dangler

This…this type of dangling tooth, whenever I see it makes me want to throw up in my mouth.

Hopefully she’ll get kicked in the face again.   Like on Friday in Kung Fu when she got tagged by a foot in the mouth and lost that bottom dangler.

It must go.

Back to my hot Podiatrist

Marathon training has officially started for good, today.  And what I mean by that is, today, although not necessarily the first day, kicked my butt.  Moderate (which is a swift) pace for 7 miles with sprints at the end.  Needless to say, I realized today just how out of shape I am AND that I need to head right on back to the Podiatrist.

I can’t even think about my Podiatrist anymore without thinking of a conversation I had with Jen the first time I went to see him.  I got out of the office, picked up my phone and called Jen to give her the low down on the bunion and then I added that not only is he brilliant, he is HOT!

She said, well he’s your type.  I’m all like…WHAT…I have a type?  What do you mean?  I’ve been with the same guy for half my life. I don’t have a type anymore.

She continued on, yeah he doesn’t really do it for me.  You know, he looks just like Adam will in 10 years.

And damn if she isn’t right…my husband is sooo HOT!

Chemo can be fun!

All good news today.

Ok, a touch anemic…but who cares.

Today we take what we can get.

I’m just not that into the Flush

Once again I found myself doing something I said I would NEVER do.  But this time, I was smart enough to stop.  Here’s my 24 hour journey.

Adam, as you may remember, does a Fat Flush every so often.  I have never wanted to do one, until I found myself maybe wanting to do one with him.  So, we got all the supplements and all the fresh food and Thursday morning we were off and running.

I started the day with a longevity cocktail (unsweetened cranberry juice and psyllium husk) at 5:00 am.  Then ran.  Then came home to warm lemon water, fish oil, flax seed oil and an egg white, onion omelet and feeling very drained.

Finding myself still excited at this point, I went to the gym to lift.  While at the gym my body was not really wanting to do much.  When I changed out of my gym clothes and into my swim suit, walked into the pool to find no lanes open, it took me no time at all to decide that was enough, thanked the sweet baby Jesus and headed to the shower.

I got KP from child care and we head home and directly to the fridge.  At this point, my head throbbed and my muscles felt like they were simply cannibalizing each other.  My lunch of sauted (with no oil) onions, lean ground beef and tomatoes looked and smelled great, but didn’t taste like much.

The downward spiral had begun.

The rest of the afternoon got no better.  In fact, I became a raving bitch.  I’m not kidding.  The rage that sits just slightly under my surface was coming out full throddle on anybody and anything that caught my path.

By the time dinner rolled around, I was so beyond hungry.   I had that nauseous feeling and couldn’t care less about even making food.  When I did finally muster up enough gumption to make it, I just swore at it.

Then the second longevity cocktail came around at 10:30,  I thought I was going to cry.  I did my best to suck it down.  Watching Adam chug-it like a champ, only made it worse.  I went to bed…mad.

The morning sun came up, I felt ok and had an amazing poop.  But then the rush to get all the kids up, fed and out the door in 30 minutes (due to over sleeping) put me over the edge.  I walked PJ to the bus and continued on with the morning ritual of bringing the dog on her walk.

As I made it back up the drive, weak, tired and hungry, I decided it was not worth it.  Not worth my sanity.  My energy.  My strength.

I may be a walking toxic bomb, but I don’t care.

So I went inside, made myself a cup of coffee and a bowl of cereal with berries.  In a flash the Wicked Flush Queen transformed back into the nice girl from Minnie.

It feels so good to be back.

Making your friend feel welcome

KP had one of his school buddies, Big C, over for a play date yesterday.

When we showed up for school this morning, Big C’s mom just had to share a little story that happened at their house last night.

When Big C was being put to bed, he told his dad that he better go lock the doors and make sure they were locked.

When his dad asked why, he said, “I was playing with one of KP’s big brother’s toys.   He told me that I better not because he will hunt me down.  So can you make sure the doors are locked.”

Year of the Ox

Happy Chinese New Year to ya all.  We have now gone from the rat to the ox.  I happen to be a dog, so this year is looking good for me.  Find out what is in store for you.

I’m not crazy

Watching clips like this make me feel sane, like I’m not at the tip of crazy.

They are…JUDGEMENT 09 (dun, duuuunnnnn)!

Yes we can!

I have not been watching TV all day, but I did get to see our 44th President get sworn in and then I sat with tear filled eyes listening to his speech.

It made me proud to live in this great country of ours.

But as our priest said this past Sunday, Barack is only one man,  it is going to take all of us to make change…so get to work!