The curse of the winter white pants

While taking a speed round through Old Navy last week, I found a pair of winter white velveteen pants on sale for $6.97. Of course I had to try them on. Tan or brown would have been preferable, but a sale is a sale.

As I was trying these pants on I thought to myself, there is no way these white pants are going to look good on me. I mean who looks good in white pants? Who buys white pants anyway? Certainly no one in Minnesota with the slush and the snow and the slush and the snow. And, what mother of three would ever think to buy white pants to just throw on, especially a mother that has forgone the hand towel and just uses her pants as a rag instead?

Well, I bought them and they are so comfortable and cute especially for $6.97. The only problem is, every time I wear these pants, I fall down.

NO, I am not kidding.

The first day I was helping a friend of PJ’s into the car and told her to watch the ice, as I rounded the van after putting her securely in her seat I wiped out, wiped out to the point of ripping a gigantic hole in the knee, blood dripping down the knee and dirty patches all over the front and side of the pants. This mishap incurred another trip to the store to buy a new pair of winter white pants that now have cost me a total of $13.94.

The next time I wore the pants, I was walking through the preschool parking lot. An acquaintance of mine yelled hello from the bottom of the stairs and as I was trying to step up onto the curb with KP in my arms, I lost my footing and tripped. The thought went through my head that I may have severely sprained my ankle, seeing it took an entire walk through the school corridor for the sharp pains to subside. But as least I didn’t drop the baby.

Today, I am wearing the pants again. Last night it snowed. I was chasing after KP who was headed down the driveway and toward the street and damn if I didn’t fall on the ice AGAIN.

I am wondering if I should stop wearing these things. These winter white, cute, cheap, and comfortable velveteen pants. Because I fear if I keep wearing them, I may end up on crutches.

Maybe I should give them to Mrs. Bickerson. It is her birthday today. Happy Birthday! Let me know if you want the pants.

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