Birthday season is upon us
It’s amazing, most of our family members have a birthday in the spring or summer. It’s like Christmas all over again. We start off with CT in early April and end with my brother in August. BAAM BAAM BAAM and you turn around twice and then you have those outliers in the fall but really much of the celebratory birthday partying goes on starting now.
Yesterday, April 21, was my dad’s birthday. All day long I thought of him. The things he enjoyed, the times we spent together, the fact that I didn’t seem sad. It was odd. I wondered why. Does time really heal a gaping wound like that? Am I far enough away to not feel that aching loss anymore?
I drove around by his tree at Lake Calhoun. We toasted him at dinner. I wanted to buy a birthday cake, Adam assured me that was a little too much and then the day ended.
I posted this photo yesterday on FB with “Happy Birthday Dad” as the title. It wasn’t until today when Roxie texted me that she saw the post and it made her cry.
Then it came.
The tears.
The broken heartedness you feel at the loss of a parent.
The sadness for all that is missing because he is gone.
The text that simply tipped me into tears.
Time…it helps the severity of the ache but it certainly doesn’t take away the pain of the loss.
As Roxi said to me, it’s “the big days you end up bracing yourself for and it’s those moments when your guard is down when it gets you.” And it’s so true.
Dad I miss you, not just on your birthday but on everyday.
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