So big but so small

I have never been a big co-sleeper with my kids. In fact, I might be the anti-co-sleeper.

The thought of them invading my space and disrupting what little sleep I was getting, when they were little, just made my head spin. Then, the thought of undoing the habit of co-sleeping seemed even worse, let alone thinking of a 12 year old boy in my bed seemed just like nothing I wanted to be part of.

All that said, there are moments…

Moments like last night, when KP came upstairs to tell me he can’t sleep and he thinks there are ants in his bed. I pull myself up half asleep and walk to his room, no ants.

I tuck him in, kiss him again and bid him a good night.

At 2:15 he reemerges and says, I can’t sleep, can I sleep with you?

In my fog I welcome him in with both arms, full well knowing the ants got to his psyche and that my baby doesn’t often ask for such things. Through the remaining slumber I kept waking and knowing, this was precious time. These requests come so few and far between at this age and I know he will go back to his bed tomorrow.

But tonight, come here little boy, let mom wipe away the ants and hold you and keep you safe.

 

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