Ashes

Today is Ash Wednesday for those of you non-Catholics out there or recovering Catholics or Catholics who like to forget all about Lent in general.

For the past few years I have been meeting my parents at church for Ash Wednesday services.  Two years ago, we knew there was something wrong with my dad, he had had all his tests and scans but the final report had not come down the pipe line yet.

Two years ago, I remember sitting in church watching an old grade school classmate and her family on Ash Wednesday.  Her father had esophageal cancer.  He was not doing well.  His three girls and his wife where there with him.  After mass they went to the back of church, lit candles, prayed and cried.  I remember those girls so clearly being so distraught at what was happening to their dad, their family, their lives.

I strongly remember the feeling of dread that came over me that day.  Knowing there was something wrong.  Wondering how bad the news was going to be and wondering how many more Ash Wednesday services we would have left together or how many more Ash Wednesdays it would be until I found myself in the back of church lighting candles, praying and crying.

My classmates father died last year.

My father will die too.

Just as yours has or will.

So on this Ash Wednesday, I not only see the start of Lent but I feel all over again the fear and the dread of how my dad’s battle with cancer will continue.

Thank goodness on most every other day, I can set that aside and realize that we still have time, hopefully a lot of time.

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