My little Molten Lava Cake

I thought it might be tough to get her back on the bus to camp this morning since the first thing out of her mouth yesterday when I picked her up from all day camp was, “I’m not going there again, thank you very much.”

It didn’t seem to matter that she made new friends, created a fort that her group hung out in all day, went swimming, sang songs, did crafts and even got to take the bus for the first time in her life. When looking down the dark isle of that bus, she did an about face and ran straight back into the car. When I went after her, her terror filled eyes where stairing back at me like a wild animal about to be attacked, like I was throwing her to the dogs to be left for dead.

Tears and hysterical screaming ensued as I tried to pull her little body from the car, the counselors even tried to talk her off the ledge. But no…she wanted to stay with mommy. She was scared. She did not want anything to do with the bus, her friends, canoeing, songs or anything else they could throw at her.

And it is at these precise moments, where as a mother, I am at a loss. I know I want her to go but should she stay? And then the questions start bouncing around in my head…Is she just not emotionally ready for camp? Do I make her go? Do I let her stay? Did something happen she didn’t tell me about? Am I pushing her too fast to grow up? Is she just being stubborn?

And today, after we watched the bus pull away, we drove down to the next bus stop. We took a little more time. We talked more about the bus and the day and how she was going to get on the bus and who she was going to sit with. Then we walked up the big scary bus stairs together and found her friend, who was just as scared as she was, saving her a seat.

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