How stupid am I?

Do you ever have those moments in time where you wonder…why am I so stupid? Well, maybe you’re just smarter than I am if you don’t know what I’m talking about, but I had one of those events yesterday.

In my quest for conquering bike mechanics, I have decided to try to make minor adjustments to my bike myself before bringing it in. Maybe it’s my pride, maybe I only like talking to the internet about my vagina, or maybe I just want to feel like I can make a few adjustments here and there and it shouldn’t be a big deal.

So I adjusted my aero bars in hopes of reducing some strain on my left shoulder. Done. Then I adjusted my seat and tipped it forward slightly so as not to have too much pressure on “my sweet”. Done. Then I took off.

Once I started on my hour and fifteen minute interval training ride I quickly realized that I should have adjusted both sides of my aero bars instead of just the left, because you see that creates a great unbalance in the force and you simply want to ride in circles. Oh so smart move number one.

Then I noticed my heart rate monitor wasn’t working (according to it I was almost dead), then I realized my bike computer wasn’t working, according to the read out I could run faster than I could bike. Clearly not my fault, at least I don’t think so.

Once I had hit the halfway mark I stood up off my seat to loosen my legs up. When I went to sit back down my seat was waaaaaaay back and kiddywampus to the side. You see, when I adjusted my seat myself I simply loosened the back and forgot to tighten down the front. Oh so smart move number two.

After my last push I slowed way down to turn around. I unclipped my right foot, turned my bike left and completely dumped myself right on my ass. Oh so smart move number three.

And a perfectly fitting way to end a horrific ride.

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