Finnish or Finish

Yes, I am happy to dub myself the world’s worst speller (WWS). There should be laws against people like me writing things on the internet, because typically there is some sort of error in just about everything I write.

Oh what? That’s what makes it so cute and compelling to read? Thank you. Yes, I need that kind of reinforcement, especially when our spell check isn’t working on our email.

Do you realize how naked I feel with no spell check? At least it can hide a few flaws. But, for the past week, I was being hung out to dry. When I told Adam I knew there was something wrong because it wasn’t even picking up the word “happy” correctly, he looked at me and said, “Well, how do you spell happy?”

After we discussed that I really did know how to spell the word happy and that I could also spell the word asshole, I am HAPPY to announce that we solved the problem. The computer was checking everything in FINNISH.

How cruel is that to do to a poor speller?

Just keep that one on the list of things to do to your poor speller on April fools!

Change is a coming

I’m feeling the need to change this site.

I’m feeling stuck in pink and green.

I want more out of it.

Hmmm, I suddenly wish I had taken some programming and graphics courses in college.

Even if I did, the question is…would I remember how to do it?

Sweet Diva of Mine

As visions of triathlons danced in my head

I have been getting all geared up figuring out my summer race schedule. There is a sick five year plan in place, which I am not ready to divulge, but this year looks like this:

May – ½ Marathon
June – Sprit Distance Triathlon
July – Olympic Distance Triathlon
August – Olympic Distance Triathlon (maybe)
October – Marathon

And last night, I had my first of the season triathlon failure dream. I remember that I had one last year as well. And now, I am going to start keeping track of them.

My dream consisted of Adam and me going to the race. He was with me at the beach where the race was going to start. I got in the water and warmed-up and then came back out to talk to him. After discussing something or other I mentioned my bike and then quickly came to the realization that I totally forgot to bring my bike. And there I stood on the beach, ready to start the triathlon with no bike to begin the second leg of the race.

Perfect 10

Last night I sat on the couch with the kids watching Sesame Street. The beginning of the show has Gordon coming out of his apartment with his golf clubs, welcoming everyone, and commenting on how wonderful the weather was going to be for his golf game that day.

Big Bird came around the corner and asked him what he was doing. Gordon responded that he was practicing for his golf game and that practice makes perfect. Then they both went on to tout the need to practice and how practice, may be hard, but it indeed makes perfect.

CT looked over at me, sighed and said, “Hmm, looks like I don’t need to practice, cause I’m already perfect.”

Matt Q

My friend Kim’s brother got married on New Year’s Eve. During the reception she was talking to this guy at her table about what elementary schools they went to. When he told her he went to IHM, she immediately had him name off people he remembered.

And who was one of his most memorable people? That would be me. I even got the privilege of taking up some dream space in his mind.

Why did he remember me? Well back then I was a pretty good kisser and I kissed him with my big lips (at that age they practically took over my whole face) in the large tractor tires of the jungle gym.

Oh, Matt…he was dreamy with his brown hair and his hazel eyes. You know, dreamy, in that second grade sort of way.

There was a lot of kissing that went on in those tires. My best friend always cornered some guy or other in there. I think she even got suspended from recess a few times for too much lip action.

And then there was Tanya. Tanya later became my very own husbands Home Coming date. Which brings me to the question, Adam did you kiss her? How weird would that be? Me, sitting in the tires watching Tanya kissing Eric at age 7 and then at age 14 she was kissing you.

If so, I probably could have given you some hot pointers.

So are you cold or what?

You will never guess who I sat across from, at the dinner table, at New Years Eve. Just one guess, give-up? THE HAIRDRESSER!

Yeah, she was talk’n smack about the triathlon again and that she could kick my ass. And yes, she did use those exact words. As a matter of fact, she makes my potty mouth sound like I am signing the most beautiful folk music you’ve ever heard. I started keeping count of how many times she used the phrase “I’ll just strap one on” at the dinner table. I remember clearly raising my glass up and shouting “SEVEN”, but the rest of the night got a little fuzzy and I think that’s where I just stopped keeping track.

ANYWAY, before dinner began, I was talking with her and another woman at the party. This other woman is nine years my junior, has a laugh like a hyena and bosoms that CT would love to nestle right into. The three of us ladies were talking about breasts, bras in fact. I shared with them that I like my bras comfortable, which seems to mean less is more. And by less, I mean they are a bit stretchy and they have no padding or under wires or anything else that could get in the way of comfort. So, with that in mind, I simply asked about “nipping out”. I couldn’t believe the response. These two women started frothing at the mouth, loudly telling me that in no way shape or form should a woman show her nipples. That bras should be padded enough to cover-up the nipple and if the padding isn’t thick enough and you can still see a form rising up out of your shirt, that you can simply place your old bathing suit pad in your bra to cover it up.

Since neither one of these women are prudes and they both dress fairly provocatively, I was astounded at their reply. Am I just so “out of it” as a stay at home mom that I have been breaking this no showing nipple rule? What gives people? Tell me, is everyone padding? Are nipples not allowed anymore?

Happy New Year

I love the New Year. It is always filled with so many promises of starting over or creating something new. It’s like spring, only in the dead of winter.

What will it be this year? I actually have not thought about resolutions, however, Adam has and it is called…2006 The Year of Organization. And since my motto happens to be “everything has a home” I will fully support this organizational endeavor of his and even take it on with him.

We actually started the organizational blitzkrieg last week, and we truly have only just begun. Thank god we have a whole year. We sent the kids pack’n to Nana’s and we spent the day un-cluttering our closets, pantry and getting ride of the fucking junk drawer which happens to create immense amounts of rage when you are looking for the really small screwdriver only to find the sewing needle you were looking for last week stuck in your pointer finger.

Adam has always claimed that the junk drawer is somehow my fault due to the fact that I had one as a kid and he didn’t, which is completely preposterous because it is totally his fault! Anyway, our junk drawer is now organized. The question is how long will it stay that way?